Allegations of Elder Abuse By Public Agencies

A recent post to my last entry raised an interesting issue about elder abuse by public agencies, i.e., the courts, court investigators, public defenders, court appointed attorneys, county counsel and public conservators. Apparently, this writer has some experience with the system to accurately name the majority of the players in a conservatorship process. Now, we have a topic to which I have expertise and can clarify some misunderstandings.

Most people have the misguided impression that the "State" comes in and scoops up old people for the purpose of stealing them blind and that is not the case. The law provides for a process to provide for the care and protection of the individual who has nobody able or willing to care for another. The courts provide oversight to the legal process, the court investigator goes out to provide a report back to the courts, and there is a system of follow up checks to see how the process is working and to insure due process to the individual who is the subject of the court's jurisdiction. If the proposed conservatee needs legal counsel and is indigent, then a public defender is appointed, and it is usually an attorney who has contracted with the county to provide legal services to the indigent of the community. If they have money to pay for their own attorney, then a court appointed attorney is selected but he is not paid until the court has reviewed his bill and issued approval and autorization to pay. The conservatee or his next of kin can review the proposed invoice and has opportunity to object. Payment is by court order. The public conservators is generally the Public Guardian who is a county employee and receives a county paycheck like everyone else including the road crews and social workers. The public conservator must have legal counsel in pursuing conservatorships, and that is where the county counsel comes in. County Counsel is the official county attorney who provides legal services to all county offices and officials. County Counsel also is a paid county employee who draws his paycheck like everyone else. None of these individuals are paid a commission or collect a percentage of the conservatee's estate. They all get paid the same regardless of whether they work or not so long as they are on the payroll. Any suggestion that they might be in a conspiracy to defraud an elderly person is so "out there" because that would suggest that everyone on public payroll is corrupt.
This is simply just not the case. You might find one person who is less than honest but to find a collection of individuals who come from different agencies but they all look the other way while someone pockets the estate of a vulnerable individual is not going to happen as a rule. I can think of one instance in Riverside California where a scandal did happen many years ago, but nobody got away with it. There are more honest public servants than there are dishonest ones. Is the entire conservatorship system perfect? Of course not. No system is perfect, but it does provide a method to remedy any problems that may arise. A system of checks and balances does exist that helps to protect the elderly and vulnerable.

The public conservatorship process which includes all of the above referenced agencies does not scout out clients. They often are accused of NOT doing anything more often than doing too much. When public agencies do charge, and they do because the taxpayers are entitled to be reimbursed for their tax dollars spend to help an individual. . . .the estate reimbursement goes back to the taxpayers in the form of a deposit into the county general fund. Yes, when the county agencies are called in to rescue someone, it is the rest of us, the tax payers who foot the bill.
If it is discovered that the person has a significant estate and can well afford to reimburse the taxpayers for services rendered, it should be done.

Now, why does the public agencies even get involved? Often because there is nobody else willing or able to do anything. Most often it is after numerous telephone calls, reports and complaints from friends, family and neighbors. Anyone who has dealt with a public agency knows that they are often slow. Most often the elderly do not provide a plan for their own care. They often do not want to deal with issues of old age or death. Often they have become estranged from family and the family simply won't step up to the plate because they think it might cost them money to do it so they prefer the taxpayers do their job of caring for their family member. Many times there may be an element of paranoia and family doesn't want to be accused of stealing money or property. Sometimes there is a fear that stepping foward to help will alienate the elder and they might get cut out of the Will. No matter what the excuse, the bottomline is that family could do something but they don't want to because of any one of several reasons but they expect the public should because "that is their job." However, once the public agency steps in, the family feels it is their duty and right to micro manage everything and criticize the county for charging a fee for services rendered. The objections is often that the charges reduce their anticipated inheritance. To be fair, sometimes folks just assume that all county services are free and everyone is entitled to those freebies. But nothing is free and we all pay for those services. Reimbursement where funds are available is fair, and if the family is worried about a reduction in their inheritance, they should step in and care for their own.

After working over 15 years in public conservatorships, this is an area that I am most familiar both inside and out. Are there incompetent county employees out there? Yes, they are everywhere from public guardians to county clerks and social workers but incompetency runs across the board from public to private sector. If we had enough time in this section of my blog, we could discuss attorneys but I will save that for another day.

How do we insure minimum in elder abuse of the elderly in our family or our community? Well, we take care of our own. Once you step up to the plate, you do all that work to provide for and protect someone and see how complicated it can be, how much work is involved, how many details you are required to do, and how exhausting some issues can be like sorting out the financial records that have been neglected for years, dealing with past due IRS and state taxes that may be 7 years in arrears, pending civil suits for unpaid debt, eviction for nonpayment of rents, sorting out the medical issues while overcoming the new HIPPA rules, or cleaning up their home that may have several feet of papers, garbage, feces and urine . . .maybe there is one recliner to sleep in and one single 12 inch pathway to walk in the entire home. I have worked under these conditions and worse. I have dealt with a houseful of dead rats, cats and chickens, mold and mildew, cobwebs that have an inch of dust and dirt collected, carpets so soaked with urine that the leather on the top of you shoes was permanently ruined, and you came out of this house smelling like the homeowner. If you have not seen a hoarding house that often the elderly can create, you have no idea what the term "hazmat" can really mean. This is a huge amount of work and effort to turn things around for an individual. Any public agency who takes this work on is doing it out of a sense of duty and concern. Not everyone is a thief. In fact, if you check the stats, most often the thief is within the family or the elderly's "circle of support" like the care giver, neighbor, the friend from church, or the nephew who shows up inbetween paydays.

Dishonesty comes in all forms but it isn't always a public servant. No, I am sorry to say often the public servant is the only one willing to do the job that nobody else will do. Unfortunately, by the time a public agency is aware of a situation, it is as bad as it can get. The people who always accuse the "State" or the "county" of stealing from the citizens has no idea how the process works and it is often part of the mentality that everyone, every State, every county government is bad. The solution is and should be that we take care of our own, and then we don't have to worry about honesty of others, public or private.

The thrill of total control over blog

The blog is a wonderful outlet for those of us who would like to "vent" and not worry about being "politically correct", not that I tend to worry about it much any ways! However, I never expect that anyone is actually reading anything that I blog, but nice when it happens. Well, let me qualify that statement. . .it is nice to have comments when those comments have something worthwhile to contribute. Every once in awhile, I get a comment from someone who is ignorant and thinks that some cheap shot might inflict some type of concern. The very best part about blogging is the "Reject" of any comments from morons who think that their thoughtless statements have some importance to me or anyone else. Now, I don't mind a comment from someone who displays intelligence, some experience with similar life experiences, or have some professional knowledge or experience to share. However, to get a comment from some bottom-dweller who has no life experience, no knowledge and no expertise to share isn't worth my time. In fact, it is thrilling to hit that reject key!

I don't expect any comments, but if you are going to comment, and you know who you are . . . please, please, please have something relevant to share. For example, what do you do that demonstrates your contributions to a better society, what significant problems have you tackled in your life that might be noteworthy, just what is your passion in life that might make this world a better place because you are here? Do you volunteer or work for charities or organizations that help others? Do you rescue animals, sea life or help to improve the environment? Do you work with or on behalf of chidren from abused homes? Do you get involved with domestic violence issues or help battered women find help and assistance? Do you work with the homeless, mentally ill or developmentally disabled? Do you assist the elderly in any social or medical issues? Do you volunteer or work for organizations that help the dying like hospice? Do you donate your time towards fighting crime in any form in your community? Do you even do something as simple as helping out in your neighborhood? Ever help your elderly neighbors by taking them shopping if they don't have transportation, mowing their yards, or just being there for them as a good listener. Just what is it that you do that makes your criticism of others so valid and worth consideration. . . or is your life so dull, meaningless and unproductive that the most empowering thing you can find to do is being critical, mean spirited and hollow. If you are not part of the solution in this life, you are part of the problem. Comment to my blog if you wish, but if it has no value to me or anyone else that might read this blog, then you are rejected with a smile.

Elder Fiduciary Abuse

I recently attended a full day conference regarding elder financial abuse hosted by our local adult protective services agency and with the opening speech by our local district attorney. The featured speaker was Paul Greenwood from the San Diego District Attorney Office who I have heard speak many times, and never get tired of this man. His passion for prosecuting and protecting the elderly is amazing. He shares with all of us who deal with the elderly regularly, a sense of pride in even the smallest of accomplishments on behalf of those most vulnerable in our communities. His color photos of victims is heartbreaking because it puts a face to the crimes we hear about but don't have to see. Both bruised, bloodied and the dead are offered so that we can appreciate the horrific details of each victims particular suffering, and often at the hands of a family member or close friend. Elder abuse is a special interest. . . not committing elder abuse but preventing it and protecting the elderly from it. Sadly, the victims often don't realize that they are being victimized until they suffer a loss or become physically abused and neglected.

I am co-conservator now for a precious pair of sisters who fell victim to the famous scrams that we are all warned about today. One sister is higher functioning than the other, but both are at risk. Both lost much as a result of telemarketing scams, the Nigeria scam, telephone tricksters, and losses to their personal checking accounts and credit card fraud due to a host of constant pitches. I have a stack of solicitations that are mindboggling and phoney checks that could fool even the
best of us. I have in my possession phoney "court orders" that someone might, at first glance, believe to be valid and respond with writing a check as ordered by this "court." During personal visits to the home, the ladies would receive a series of telephone calls soliciting for money for one sob story after the other, or pursuing promises of good health and everlasting life with the purchase of some pill, elixir, or gimmick. Once one of these scam artists was successful, he must sell the name to others who stand in line waiting to get through on the telephone.

By the time we got called in, both sisters were in debt, utilities were being shut off and they were being sued for nonpayment of credit card debts. Neither of these sisters could comprehend how they got to this point. Adult Protective Services did as much as they could, but then it was apparent someone needed to take more aggressive steps. One sister was a childless widow but the other had two daughters who lived outside the U.S. Both daughters made an emergency flight to the States to do what they could for their mother but the task was more time consuming and complex than they could handle in a few weeks. Never fear. . . the private professional conservators are here, and we stepped in to begin the process of making sure that the ladies were protected, placed in a safe setting and working with the local post office and authorities began sorting out the complex financial abuse which remains unfinished at this writing.

As the older adult begins to show some symptoms of cognitive decline whether it is simply early onset of dementia, a slight impairment of their judgment or they don't have a realistic grasp on their finances, it is so typical that pride gets in the way of helping them. I don't know how many times I have heard some senior citizen say that they can take care of themselves just fine.. . ."I have been doing just fine for the last 80 years and I think I know what I am doing without help from someone else. . ." Nobody ever wants to admit that they are being foolish or that they have been tricked. It is a humiliation and often, that is the reason why the elderly do not call for help. "How could I be so stupid as to believe. . . ."

I find that most of us are trusting, and the reason is that we have no hidden agendas, we don't plan to cheat anyone, and we deal with people honestly. We assume everyone has the same pure motives that we do in dealing with others every day. Some of us cannot even conceive of how we would go about stealing from another even if that was a goal. What do you do? What do you say and how do you say it if you wanted to trick someone into giving you hundreds of thousands of dollars? The majority of us don't think like the thief and liar so we cannot begin to formulate such a plan against another person. Likewise, we cannot see ourselves as being victim to someone else . . . .but it happens and it is epidemic.

"Undue influence" is the biggest obstacles I have seen. You cannot go into the house with a gun and a mask to rob the senior citizen of his social security check, but if you can talk him out of that social security check. . . .well, it was a gift, a loan, a small business transaction. . ..he was helping with another's emergency. . etc., you name it and I have heard it all. Most of the time the losses are to family members. It is amazing that family will do to each other the things that they would never consider doing to a stranger. It is not okay to go thru the neighbor's wallet and take $500 but it is okay for sonny boy to go through his 90 year old mother's purse and take $500. Sometimes we see that attitude of entitlement and sometimes not, but in the mind of the person who just took the $500, it is okay. . .it is just mom. If the guy gets caught, he can put the pressure on mom to tell the authorities that it was a gift and then refuse to press charges because this is, after all, the old woman's family. . . .who will take care of her if he is in jail. The fear might be . . .once in jail, the county will put the old lady in a nursing home because she can't take are of herself. Look at it from any angle and the issue of undue influence is present. And how do you help someone who is reluctant to help themselves? It is hard.

In the case of my new clients, the battle has just begun. It is important to cut the victims off from the scam artists, protect and preserve what they have left, and then begin the difficult task of going after the telemarketers, mail order scam artists, etc. Frankly, the chances of putting these criminals out of business is slim to none because they just move on to the next victim. However, I see one thing that is common among so many of these seniors who are victimized and that is the Publishing Clearhousing type of solicitations. . . .it begins with those little scams and grows out of control. Nobody gets anything for nothing so be wise and beware. Today the victim is our grandmothers and elderly parents, but tomorrow it will be us.

Always Amazed

People are just amazing. Day in and day out I devote my waking hours to taking care of the elderly and those that are forgotten by their own families, and yet, the client is seldom a problem. However, the family is a trip. Maybe I should have gotten into psychology or criminal justice because families and their mindset are too fascinating. They cannot be bothered with Auntie Pearl until she becomes a candidate for a nursing home. Suddenly, here comes some idiot with a copy of a Will and begins to claim his inheritance. Can't even wait for Auntie Pearl to die. No. . .in fact, in his mind moving into a nursing home is the equivalent of dying. Maybe he is right, but wait a minute. . . .Auntie Pearl isn't done with life just yet. No need to begin renting the U-Haul truck so you can load up her china, antiques and jewelry. These things still belong to Auntie Pearl for awhile yet so . . . .oh, and most often, this "loving relative" usually has not seen or talked with Auntie Pearl for a decade at least.

Even more interesting is how families find out when their family members die. . . .I liken it to the invisible buzzards circling overhead. . . .I had clients for years and never heard or seen from anyone. In fact, I just lost one lady two days ago. I have known this woman for over ten years and just discovered on the day of her death that she has a large family of brothers and sisters and 3 adult kids and some grandkids. . . .ohmygawd, where in the hell have these folks been? She has lived on the government allowance of $35 per month for her personal needs, cigarettes and Pepsi for years, she has been neglected on birthdays, Christmas and Mother's Day. The only things she ever got from anyone was me. She was so poor that there was never any money to pay for a burial plan, and she will likely have to be buried at county expense under the indigent burial plan for lack of decent funeral arrangements. Where was this family? They couldn't visit? They couldn't bring her a Christmas gift? They couldn't remember her with a card on her birthday or Mother's Day? Totally unreal. . . .totally pitiful. These are the same folks that will call me up and ask me if she left a Will. . . you wait, it happens all the time.

You know this is the nice part of blogging. I can vent. I can say in print to the whole world what really burns me up and yet, I cannot say it to the people who need to hear it. Hey,my most favorite story is another client who died a couple of months ago. Now, this adorable elderly widower was the center of a fight between the adult children. Well, of course, the old boy had an estate of well over a half million and everyone wanted a piece of the action BEFORE he had a chance to spend it for his own life needs. So the kids square up against each other and the court gives him to me as a settlement package. Great guy, always loved by everyone who knows him, and he is just always a friendly, happy man. Where are the kids? ABSENT! This one son who lives in the same town, cannot come see dad, cannot include him at holidays, cannot take him out of the assisted living facility for even a Sunday dinner. . . nothing on birthdays, nothing at Father's Day, nothing at Christmas. . . .his excuse. . . .Poor Health! He is just too sick. Let me tell ya, after daddy dies. . . .he isn't too sick. He can call on the phone FREQUENTLY asking about his inheritance, he can drive 50 miles round trip from his home to park in my office seeking his inheritance, etc. See what I mean? It is amazing THE HEALING POWER OF MONEY. . . .nothing will raise the dead and heal the sick like a pending inheritance!
You know what I am hoping for? Oh, this sounds awful. . . .I hope he drops death before the check is cashed! The only thing about this old man's life that gives me peace is that he had Alzheimer's Disease and never knew or seemed to know that his worthless, greedy children cared so little for him as a father and person.

My clients, I love. . . .their families, I could do without.

Back Again

Well it has been a couple of months since my last post, and that is because I have been overwhelmed with so much work. By the time I get to this computer, I am pooped. However, taking a break. .. . a mini vacation of sorts. . .I thought I would get back to it. My work brings me to two trials involving very difficult issues. My infamous court trial continues into the 3rd year, and now we are into legal efforts to collect legal fees and costs for a successful defense. The opposing counsel has taken a short trial from 1.5 days to 4 now, and I love it because he is committed to working pro bono for a mentally disturbed woman who hates him. All his efforts will likely be a waste of time, but she will not appreciate anything he has done. And hopefully she will take him to the state bar. I think she should do more, but this is a vindictive man on a misguided mission and I am not so sure that he isn't mentally disturbed as well. It has cost me alot but worth every dime once we are finished with this case. Should be done within the month including a decision by the Judge. This was a nuisance suit in an effort to make money off me in order to settle. No settlement was reached, and I was okay with the fight because I was the only one who ever did anything significant to help this woman save her house and possessions, clear up her past due bills, get straight with the government in past due taxes, and set up a fund that would pay for her needs, but more importantly, help her to get out of life in her car. Yes, this woman was living out of her car with her dogs and hitting up charities for food, gas money, etc. And my repayment was a lawsuit. However, this is a woman who suffers severe paranoia and believes that people are following her, the phone is bugged, and everyone is part of a conspiracy. She has been picked up and locked away more than once, and made several death threats that were serious enough to call in law enforcement. However, I have learned a serious lesson out of all this. . . .stay away from people who have a mental disorder and especially BiPolar with paranoia.

The next case we are involved in is even more bizarre. . . .I don't know how I get myself into these cases. Well, yes, I do. . .that isn't true. I think that I am doing a good deed but you know what they say. . . .No good deed goes unpunished. Oh, how true! Everytime I reach out to help some of these folks, I draw back a bloody hand and it is usually mine. Well, this one is a doozie. This case goes back to 2002 and is now winding up. In 2002, mom and Mom and Dad are the subject of a court fight between the adult children. Now mom and dad are both in their 90s. The kids are not kids either. I am asked to step in the take care of mom and dad on a temporary basis while the kids battle it out in court, so thinking that this is a simple, shortterm assistance. . . stupidly tells the Judge that I will. Well, it wasn't simple and it wasn't shortterm. My temporary wards, bless their little hearts because they are gone now, lived a hellish life with their son who had bizarre fixations on diet, exercise and measuring bodily urine and excrement. He fed them a meager diet that was barely enough to live on and sometimes is weird combinations like oatmeal combined with tomatoes and pumpkin mash. He had a forced exercise regime. He insisted on total control over the personal care of both, including the toileting, bathing and hair care of his poor mom. She was totally continent but he forced her to use an adult diaper and boasted that it took him six weeks to "train" her to urinate in a diaper even to the point that he removed the toilet from the bathroom floor. . .exposing a hole in the floor that was not covered. My goodness, how cruel. But he saw nothing odd with this behavior. Now you can see the cause of the initial fighting between the siblings because the others objected to how he "helped" the folks. Dad was 98 when he died, and what a blessing because he was in such deplorable shape suffering from terminal dementia. Mom was getting a little forgetful, but she had it going on. Once her husband died, she asked to go visit her sister. Now mom was already 94 and sister was 84 or thereabouts. The son opposes her request because it takes her out of his control, but I got a court order allowing her request. She was a happy gal as she headed out of town to get away from her son's home and his care. Now, this is a woman who loved all her kids despite their oddities and she would not complain or hurt his feelings because he convinced her that he sacrificed his own personal life and bank accounts to care for her. Bless her heart,
she made excuses for him but she had lived like this for about six years before something was done. (Oh, did I mention that she and dad were worth over a million dollars but she lived in squalor?) She went for a visit with her sister and had a wonderful time. Unfortunately, she suffered a stroke as it was close to time to return. I think she dreaded a return to that lifestyle, but she was "ready to go" and she did. The deciding factor in her ability to bounce back from this stroke was that she was malnourished. Well, anyways, here we go again with another nutcase but this one is pretty obvious. We took depositions and once this goes to trial, the authorities might just take this guy away in tight fitting little jacket!

The one thing about this case was how the siblings could allow this type of care go on before they finally had enough and hired an attorney to do something. Now we are down to the final fight in which the crazy son alleges that killed his parents. You know it is amazing that the court's allow so much goofiness to go to trial. It is hard to have compassion with the legal system when they complain about being overworked and overloaded with suits.

So what is the next crusade that I plan to get myself into? Well, I have a couple of people that I am helping and they make up for the nuts of this world. I have this one lady who will turn 99 in September. She lives alone, walks on her own power, is active in church and other activites and got her driver's license renewed for two years. She has a fella in her life who is in his early 60s. How many of us would love to be so healthy, active and chasing around with a young stud when we get to our 90s! She is a poster girl for everything done right in life. Lovely lady, wonderful disposition, positive attitude and loved by all. She is a dear and I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for her. Oh, she isn't the only one but she is my favorite.

See at the next post.

ANOTHER NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FAILED

I think that I am addicted to setting myself up for failure. Every year I make a new year's resolution and then before the first month ends, I have been a failure. This year I resolved to cut back on my work from home and stop bringing the briefcase or the banker box of work. I was resolved to putting in my 8 to 10 hours at the office and then just stop. Half the time I can't regain my momentum anyways so what was the purpose except to have a brief effort at upper body weight building from picking up heavy boxes. I decided to keep my list short this year. I decided to make it easy to accomplish. . . .I decided to stick with it because let's face it, I am always on the verge of "burn out." To make sure that I was sticking to this plan, I even decided that Friday's will be my catch up day. . .no office appointments, no phone calls, etc. First week. . . I didn't make it. So now as I approach the end of the first month, I am looking at a swollen briefcase and another banker box with four cases to work on! I need some serious help. This is like an addiction of self abuse. . . . .not like I am enjoying myself here. . . this sucks.
I probably should join some support group to see why I even bother with making a resolution that I know I cannot stick with. I gave up on the weight loss one. . . .and committing myself to an exercise program no matter how modest. . . .actually, I should consider reverse psychology.
Like everyone else I should do the opposite. . . .set myself up for failure in another way. I should resolve to eat as much as I can and set a goal of 400 pounds. . . . resolve to sit on that sofa until I get a decub on my butt the size of a baseball, and see how long I can endure the office until I fall asleep at the calculator! Then I might be trim, fit and have all my work done in record time.
Well, too late for 2007 but maybe I will give this a try in 2008.

On the eve of 2007, this is a time to reflect on the past year, contemplate the next year, and remember old friends and family members. In my work, I have had one heck of a busy year and many goals and aspirations were not realized so they are put on my "To Do List" for 2007.

I have met some awesome folks who became my clients and have passed away this last year due to poor health and/or old age. Well, I guess . . both. One such client just died on Christmas Day, and her name is Mary C. She was a very distinguished elderly female who oozed with class, and I tried very hard to help her get out of the hospital and get back home to her precious Siamese cats. Unfortunately, diabetes and the complications thereof made that work impossible. I found wonderful new homes for her Charley and Petunia, and Goldie, her goldfish that lived in the patio pond. Sadly, she had no children, no husband, no siblings, and oddly enough, no friends to help her or sit by her bedside during her last hours. Nobody but me to mourn her passing. I took care of her final remains as she requested and arranged to have her placed with her dearly departed husband. All of her worldly belongings fill a single cardboard box. She leaves pictures, a rosary, letters from her mom, and little treasured items of no monetary value, just sentimental value to her. Isn't that sad? Nothing more moving that to see the end of a life that was once busy, happy and full of family and friends and then, for whatever reasons, it comes to a lonely end without anyone who cares except for one stranger.
Well, that is depressing enough, isn't it!

Well, as I face the next year and I have my list of objectives to consider, I will hope that I can learn from the past, learn from the mistakes of others, and try to maintain a positive attitude about life and what is most important in life. If all I ever own when I die will fill a cardboard box, I hope I can fill it with very controversial items that make people laugh or smile. . .maybe a huge . . oh, I better not say it. . . just leave it to your imagination, but something totally outrageous & not me at all. Nothing funnier than to overhear a comment like, "Ohmagawd"

Holiday Thoughts

Holiday Thoughts

This is one time of the year that our thoughts go out to others and we try to reflect upon the good things in life: loved ones, family gatherings, generosity, peace, goodwill, and the hope for a better tomorrow. In the course of these few weeks, we will really take notice of the panhandler on the corner with the cardboard sign and the solitary little old person who seems to be so alone. This is just wonderful, but reaching out to help others should not be saved only for this one time of the year, and for most of us, it isn't. With the exception of just a few Scrooges in the world, the rest of us are basicially caring, generous and kind. It gives us all pleasure to do for others, and even more pleasure to see that our efforts are appreciated. We all respond to the Angel Tree where we give a gift to the Salvation Army or some other organization for the needy kids, and we donate to other organziations who provide meals for the homeless, etc. Some organizations will "adopt" a nursing home, or donate comfort toys and blankets or jackets to child protection agencies. Each of us likes to do something.

At some point in our lives someone has reached out and done a kindness to each of us. It is appropriate to Pay it Forward and do a kindness to someone else. In our nursing homes, are countless elderly men and women who are forgotten at Christmas, Mother's Day and Father's Day, not to mention their birthdays. There are WWII heros who are overlooked on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. During the ordinary workday there are countless elderly folks who have nobody to visit them, and nobody who cares. Sure there are organizations who volunteer but that effort is often limited to the holiday season and forgotten after New Years Day. If you are looking for an opportunity to make a different in just one life, I challenge you to make a trip to a convalescent care center, VA hospital or skilled care unit, or a residential board and care. Mingle among the residents and find that one person that touches your heart, and get to know them. Adopt this little person and become his/her little guardian angel in providing some holiday cheer, but also a bit of company on a lonely day, someone to remember them on their birthday, Mother's Day or Father's Day or just any day. Sit with them and listen to their stories of their lives, read to them, listen to music with them, just sit and enjoy the quiet times, and you will come away much richer. Share with them your time, your interests, your heart, and you will be surprised that the one who gained the most will be you. Now. . . .am I suggesting that you invest your whole life into this challenge? Of course not. In reality, most of these people are coming to the end of their lives anyways, and they are simply at The Train Station of Life waiting for the next stop so you are only going to have a short period of time available. Make the most of what time there is, make a difference to someone just because you can, and wait to reap rewards of your heartfelt efforts. Remember, one day very soon, you could be where they are now. Open up your hearts to give of your own heart to others, and see what blessings may result. It could be the best gift you ever gave yourself. Happy Holidays.